REHEARSAL SCRIPT #6: Guess who’s coming to dinner?


Guess who’s coming to dinner?




ALLISON:           (To Audience – spotting Mike at the dinner table with Mom)

Whoa… way! Who does this guy think he is? Part of the family? It would serve them both right if I just ran back upstairs. But maybe I shouldn’t for two reasons.  First, I haven’t thanked him yet for my pink scarf and my fuzzy journal. I need to be polite. Princess Allison would be very critical of any behavior that wasn’t at the very least, polite. My second reason is that I am amazingly hungry.


MIKE:                   (winks)  Come on. Sit. Eat. You think too much for a kid.


MOM:                   Mike has a stake-out tonight, so I thought it would be nice if he would stop by for  dinner first.


ALLISON:           (to audience)         So, okay. I’ll sit down but I might throw up.  Mom has that goofy expression on her face whenever she looks at him. All silky and smiley and happy.  And                               she’s giving him entirely too much of my lasagna!


MIKE:                   You usually this quiet?


MOM:                   Oh, she’s just a little tired from school and her nightly web cast. How’d it go tonight, honey?


ALLISON:           (to audience)  Now they’re both watching me like I’m a baby, about to spit up. Waiting for my words to upchuck onto the table.

(to Mom) 

                It was okay. So, who are you staking out?


MIKE:                   We’ve got a couple guys planning a bank robbery. Caught them on video a couple weeks back robbing the Third Savings Bank downtown. We got a tip saying they’re planning to                                  take down another bank tomorrow morning. We want to catch them in the act.


ALLISON:           Wow. What would they do to you if they found out you’re there, watching?


MIKE:                   (chuckling)  Well, Princess, we’re pretty good. We don’t plan to be caught. We plan to catch them. But, in answer to your question, they probably would just call off their plans.                                  Lay low. Pretend they were planning a trip to the beach and not a bank heist. There  wouldn’t be a shootout like you see in the movies, if that’s what you’re wondering.


ALLISON:           (to audience)  That was exactly what I was wondering. If police work was as dangerous as we kids see on TV, I figure there wouldn’t be many police around. They’d either be                                dead, or their kids would have convinced them to take a job as an accountant or Wal-Mart store manager, or something else less risky.  Hey now, maybe this could be an idea                                for a Princess Allison web cast.  Meet the Real Police…..The Police are our friend….Pretty lame titles.